Not It! Origin Story, Part 1
How I went from not praying for eight years to "crazy in tune with the Holy Spirit"—and the thirty-minute prayer slot I desperately didn't want.
A friend asked me how I went from not praying for eight years to where I am now: “Because you seem crazy in tune with the Holy Spirit.”
First, did I really not pray for eight years?
That’s an exaggeration. I pictured myself as going into a trench, like in WWI: out of the line of fire. In feel, it was more like the first time I was in labor. At one point I got tired, and thought, I’m not going to push 100%. I’ll just push 80%, because at some point this baby is going to come out anyway.
The nurse noticed immediately: “Amy! You have to give 100%!”
Those eight years felt like I had stepped back, and knew I wasn’t giving my all.
Eight years later, though, in the summer of 2018, my college mentors, Scott and Connie Anderson, sent an email: “We normally pray over our staff retreat before students come back, but this year we’re both teaching, and we can’t teach and pray at the same time. Could you, as our friends and supporters, partner with us and cover us in prayer, taking a half-hour block, starting on Friday night?”
I read the request and thought: Not it!
The idea of praying by myself for half an hour completely freaked me out.
I had probably prayed longer than that before, but always in groups, where a few of us would offer up prayers as they came to mind (sometimes called “popcorn prayer,” because it pops up.) That felt familiar.
But sitting somewhere by myself for thirty minutes, praying over a need I didn’t fully understand?
That overwhelmed me.
I knew my unwillingness was pathetic. I have walked with God since I was five. I never had a season of rebellion. I had read scores of marvelous Christian books, including a dozen or two about prayer.
If anybody should have known how to pray for thirty minutes, it should have been me. And yet I was completely intimidated.
So: Not it!
But multiple times a day for the rest of that week, the Lord brought the same thing to mind: “You should sign up to pray.”
Instead, I kept praying. Lord, I don’t want to sign up, but I ask that you would fill all those spots. Thank you. Amen.
Thursday night, I figured I should double-check that the Lord had answered all of my very good prayers for other people.
When I went to the website, of the twenty slots, maybe three had been filled.
I was devastated.
I love Scott and Connie. I love their ministry. I love that college students get to hear the good news.
This was not as it should be.
So in fear and trepidation, I signed up for a spot, even though the idea completely freaked me out.
The next night, I went outside to the porch swing and said, Lord, I don’t know what I’m doing.
But within about thirty seconds I felt as if I had entered into someone else’s stream of prayer. Like somewhere, in another part of the world, someone else was praying for Scott and Connie with such force and power that I could simply ride along in their current.
I had never experienced anything like it.
(It wasn’t until years later that I realized: even if no human was praying, Jesus and the Holy Spirit were! I was praying with them!)
The half hour sped by. I was never at a loss for what to pray for the college students. I had been one, and I knew the kinds of struggles they face.
And when it was over, I thought: That was amazing! I want to do that again!
Jesus, thank you that you call us out of complacency, and that you guide and direct us. When we say a little yes to you, even just “I’ll spend a half hour in prayer,” you are so gracious to let us walk with you and to meet us where we are.
Thank you that we enter your stream of prayer, and for the body of Christ and community of faith. In your precious name, Jesus, amen.
Go on to Part 2: What Else Could Happen?
The Whole Arc of the Origin Story:
1. Not It!
3. More Prayer This Month Than Last Month
4. Could I Ask God for a Business Idea?
5. Pay Someone to Pray for Me?