Does Feeling Bad Mean You've Been Bad?

Recently I realized that I assume that any time I feel bad, it’s because I’ve been bad.

I’m the problem.

I must have done something inappropriate, or not walked in health, or made a mistake.

Somehow, though, I missed the mark.

As I thought about it further, I realized that this probably comes from the Sunday school teaching about conscience that I learned growing up: “We have a conscience that tells us when we are being bad. So if you feel a twinge of guilt, or have a sense that you’ve been naughty, you need to pay attention. Because if you ignore those twinges, then eventually your conscience becomes seared. And when that happens, you are really, really in trouble. Now you’ve grieved the Holy Spirit.”

So if I felt bad, I assumed it was my fault.

But I’ve just started to realize that sometimes I feel bad because of influences that I hadn’t yet recognized.

Like the morning I said, “I feel abandoned. Why do I feel abandoned?”

Later I learned that, at a pastor’s meeting the previous day, the speaker asked how many pastors felt abandoned, and most of the room raised their hand.

I wasn’t at that meeting, and only heard about it after the fact. I had a friend who was connected to that group.

I didn’t feel abandoned because of something I did wrong. And I didn’t feel abandoned because I actually was abandoned.

If anything, I felt abandoned because the Lord allowed me to be a thermometer of the spiritual environment, taking the temperature.

At first, I was not thrilled about this.

I mean, Corrie Ten Boom said that we should be thermostats, changing the temperature, not just thermometers, measuring the temperature.

But now I think that, because I don’t always know what to pray for, I’m a thermometer first, so I can pray for change.

But that also means that when I feel bad, it’s not necessarily because I am bad.

I get to set aside the narrative that I am doing something wrong, and enter into the reality of a different dimension, in which even my bad feelings can be welcome invitations to walk out with Jesus.

If we are a thermometer at times, may we be freed from weights we shouldn’t carry, and be released to pray over the needs the Lord reveals—however he reveals them.

Lord, with the disciples in Luke 11:1, we cry out: “Lord, teach us to pray!” Teach us to pray effectively, and in alignment with your Holy Spirit. Thank you, Lord.

Pray on every occasion in the Spirit, with every type of prayer and intercession,

Amy Joy

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