Why Do I Feel Spiritually Beaten Up?
"If you feel bruised, it's because you're in a battle and not sitting on the sidelines." A reframe for anyone weary from spiritual warfare—plus a prayer.
Late in the fall, I went for a short walk in celebration of sun instead of gray skies and weather that had warmed into the 50s. I hugged a tree and gazed at the light through the yellow beech leaves and said, Lord! Why do I come to you feeling bruised at least once a week? Why do I feel like I get beaten up?
Here is the answer I got: “The goal is not to be free of bruises. If you feel bruised, it’s because you’re in a battle and not sitting on the sidelines. The goal is to fight, then get healing as needed, and fight more.”
This was such a helpful reframing!
I’m not in trouble or doing something wrong if I start to feel bruised or tired!
In that season I was wrestling through some big topics in my life. I found myself in tears multiple times a day. I didn’t feel overly lovable. I felt bruised. Or like a hedgehog, full of prickles. I regularly did little exorcisms on myself.
“I refuse to partner with you, fear, anxiety, overwhelm, irritability, desperation. Go to Jesus. Lord, please bless me with your peace, joy, love.” (I still do these as often as I notice I need to.)
It was not a comfortable season.
I asked a friend, “What is wrong with me?”
The answer: “You’re in the perfect place for the Lord to make some changes to parts of your life that you had overlooked. Sort of like the old toilet that needs a five-step process to flush, and it’s maybe a little annoying, but you’ve gotten used to it and don’t even think to warn guests when they come to visit. This is the time to replace that old, frustrating toilet.”
Okay! Fair!
Lord, you love me and call me your own.
Isaiah 42:13 says, “The LORD will march out like a champion, like a warrior he will stir up his zeal; with a shout he will raise the battle cry and will triumph over his enemies” (NIV). Another translation says, “The LORD shall go forth as a mighty man, he shall stir up jealousy like a man of war: he shall cry, yea, roar; he shall prevail against his enemies” (KJV).
Lord! I need you as a champion in this hour. I need your zeal. I need you to roar against my enemies, the not-flesh-and-blood that I wrestle against. Thank you that you are the victor.
And thank you for your patience and kindness toward me.
In the king, and through his blood, we have deliverance,
Amy Joy
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