When Your Greatest Frustration Is the Key to Your Calling

Recently my friend Jaime wrote about a realization that she had about all the “re-“ words the Lord kept highlighting for her: rebuild, restore, revitalize, etc.

She grew discouraged over a long-time sick horse:

On a day she seemed to regress significantly, I began with those few niggling questions (should I have taken her on? After all this will she really die?) and then allowed a landslide to build that ended asking: will I always be surrounded by broken and wounded things the rest of my life?

Do you remember that I have spoken to you about RESTORING, and about REBUILDING and REPAIRING?

How can you repair or rebuild if you have nothing broken around you? You have been looking around at the broken things and wanting someone else to fix them. Either you want me to zap them into shape miraculously, or you want me to send someone to look around and fix things, or even to bestow a cash flow so you can simply hire that out.

Well. Yes actually, what’s wrong with that?

Nothing. Except you are called to repair and restore—so you have all these wonderful opportunities to start repairing and restoring everywhere around you, to create beauty from ashes, and walk in the blessings of Isaiah 58, and instead of living out that identity and calling, you keep asking me to quit sending you things that allow you to walk in your gifts. If you have a calling to rebuild and restore, you are going to have to understand that broken things are going to show up.

I feel like I don’t know how to rebuild the things at my house that need attention, and I don’t think I’m doing a very good job restoring this little horse back to health. I feel unqualified and a little overwhelmed with it all.

That’s ok. Everyone is unqualified on their own you know. I will help you. You are going to need my vision to see what is around you, you see brokenness and I see opportunity. When you begin to walk more fully in this, more and more and more broken things will find their way to you. You will need my vision even more then, because it would overtake you if you couldn’t see what I have sent to you and what is not yours to restore.

And so I began to shift from desolate and discouraged to curious and thoughtful.

Then this morning as I was journaling some thoughts and questions I realized that God spoke to my heart about building, but today I realized it wasn’t just building. It was REBUILDING. It was starting with ruins and making them into something new.

This process of RESTORATION is unique. Maybe some builders are called to start with “nothing” and create from “scratch” or to do “new construction” but God spoke so gently to me that if I look more closely at this life verse I’ve carried for at least a year now, REPAIR and RESTORE and REBUILDING is a different take on building. It is about healing and bringing back something that has had the life drain out, been wounded, or gone through trauma. It is a different skillset actually than one who does new construction.

Then I heard another layer:

Do this every day.

Instead of being overwhelmed by the amount of need around me, find as many places to walk out my identity each day even with one small action.

Instead of looking around and wondering when I will see restoration, I begin to walk from the place of being one who restores, and walking in the purpose for my life. Instead of being overwhelmed wondering how I will survive beneath the weight of brokenness, I see that living in my calling brings energy and life and is not exhausting but life and energy giving. Instead of seeing broken things as a curse I appear to be living under, I see God’s kindness in offering me a plethora of variety for playing in the great sandbox of my skillset and learning new tools to expand my abilities. From horses, to hot water heaters to lawnmowers.

In just a few days of being willing to face what was deeply troubling to me (instead of push it down farther), in taking my heartfelt fears and grief to the creator, he actually turned mourning into joy. The very thing that had me discouraged and ready to quit became gifts of love and life around me. And also a way forward when I had been feeling very stuck recently.

I am astounded at the goodness.

So today I ask you:

Do you know what purpose you are called to walk in?

Is it possible one of your greatest frustrations is centered in this calling?

Do you see opportunities each day to walk out this calling and make it alive in your own life?

Thank you, Jesus, for how you care for us. Teach us your ways, and how you bring your kingdom to bear in each of us, in our unique callings. Amen.

God says, “My grace is enough for you; my power comes to perfection in weakness,”

Amy Joy

P.S. So much of the scripture deals with rebuilding and restoring. I have written short books about two lesser-known books of the Bible, both of which fascinated me.

The Prince Protects His City, about Nehemiah, tells the story of the man who rebuilt the walls around Jerusalem after they had fallen down. One of my favorite books of the Bible.

And The Freed Man Returns to the House of His Bondage retells the story of Philemon and Onesimus, a one chapter epistle in the New Testament. These men had a terribly strained relationship (since one was the escaped former slave of the other). Could the gospel provide a way forward?