“Guard Your Heart” Doesn’t Mean What You Think
It's not dating advice, and even if it was, God himself doesn't follow it.
One of my friends started dating, and we talked about the idea of “guard your heart.” These words usually pop up in relationship advice, along the lines of, “Don’t get too close to a love interest, and certainly not too soon. Guard your heart!”
Implicit in this instruction is this idea that if you do happen to be hurt in a relationship—if you break up—you were doing something wrong by not guarding your heart.
This is wrong thinking on several fronts.
First, though, Proverbs 4:23 in several translations:
• Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (NIV)
• Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. (NLT)
• Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. (ESV)
• Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life. (NKJV)
• Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts. (GNT)
This verse is not about romantic entanglements. It’s about keeping the input that enters into you clean and pure.
Elizabeth Yates, in Mountain Born, has my all-time favorite quote for keeping the mind pure. Shepherd Benj, advising a boy, says, “A man must have a care to what he puts in his mind, for when he’s alone on a hillside and draws it out he’ll want treasures to be his company, not regrets.”
Moreover, if “Guard your heart” meant “don’t fall in love too soon, and certainly not with an unworthy person,” God himself doesn’t follow that advice.
My goodness.
“While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son” (John 3:16).
The prophetic example of Hosea, who married Gomer the prostitute, a woman who then went back to her life of prostitution.
God offered a picture of himself marrying a completely unworthy woman: a woman who, despite the favor shown her, rejects his love.
Why does God hate divorce?
Because he’s lived it, and he knows how much it hurts.
The call on our lives is not to never be hurt.
The call is to love like God—selflessly, wholesomely, deeply, gloriously.
Lord God, thank you that you sent Jesus as our example for life and love. Thank you that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Lord, teach us to guard our hearts your way. Teach us how to love like you do.
We thank you. In Jesus’ holy name, amen!
To the only wise God be glory forever through Jesus Christ,
Amy Joy
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